The Application of Flirting With Humor
One
of the things that I discuss a lot is the idea of why women feel
attraction for some men while not feeling it for others (even though the
men that a woman feels attraction for might not be good choices for her
because they're abusive, etc.).
If you recall, one of the concepts that I teach goes something like
this:
ATTRACTION isn't something that is logically chosen. ATTRACTION is
basically an EMOTIONAL RESPONSE to certain cues and behaviors.
One of the things I've isolated that seems to cause women to feel this
magical ATTRACTION to men is the idea of flirting with humor and
cockiness.
This is simply using an arrogant style of humor when you're dealing with
attractive women that leads to them feeling the emotion of ATTRACTION
for you.
At seminars I teach I realized that several of the guys were having
trouble getting the idea that a woman could feel an emotion like
ATTRACTION in response to something as seemingly unrelated as making
arrogant jokes (especially about her) and making her laugh.
I mean, how could this possibly work?
I thought I'd take this article and talk a bit about why I think that
something so illogical could help you to create attraction, and some
specifics about how to do it.
Let me introduce you to the "Why":
Remember, women feel attraction for a very different set of reasons than
men do.
Where men focus more on LOOKS, women focus more on PERSONALITY, SELF
ESTEEM, POWER, and several other more "intangible" qualities.
Women also love men who can make them laugh. And by watching a lot of
guys who are VERY good at attracting women, I've noticed a common
pattern.
Most of these guys use a common way of communicating with women that
communicates the above qualities WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING TO SAY THAT
THEY HAVE THEM.
I call this way of communicating "Cocky and Funny", and it's one of the
cornerstones of attracting women.
I believe that when a man is flirting with humor, he triggers a primal
response inside of women that creates an instant emotional attraction.
This is because women come "pre-wired" with an internal template of what
comprises a desirable mate, and a set of emotional trigger buttons that,
when pushed, create that powerful emotional response called ATTRACTION
that compels her to mate with the man who triggers it.
Most men have no idea that this mechanism exists or how to trigger it,
so they do traditional "nice guy" things like buying dinners, gifts, and
flowers and giving women compliments and calling them all the time
(which usually have the OPPOSITE of the desired effect when used too
much, and too early on).
As I got to know more and more guys who were REALLY GOOD with women, I
started to see that they weren't afraid to make fun of attractive women,
bust on them, and even challenge them but it was always done in a VERY
FUNNY, even charming way.
At first I just assumed that it was the fact that this pattern was just
a technique that my friends were using to make conversation.
Only after really paying attention, trying out this technique myself
quite a bit, and LOOKING CLOSELY AT THE ACTUAL RESPONSES I WAS GETTING
did I begin to realize the UNBELIEVABLY POWERFUL EMOTIONAL RESPONSES
that this one concept was generating.
And after working on it, testing it, refining it, and studying the finer
points about women, men, and the whole "mating process" did I begin to
really understand how well this worked.
The concept is pretty simple:
1. Take an arrogant comment
2. Add humor to make it funny
3. Feel free to use this combination when poking fun at the woman you're
dealing with.
Here's a simple example:
Let's say you're walking down the street with a woman and she says "Wow,
I really like those shoes in the window" and you answer "You would".
Here's another one:
Let's say you're talking to a woman who's wearing a pair of shoes with
four inch heels, and you say "So what, are you about four feet tall
without the shoes?"
Get it?
You're saying things that are FUNNY while at the same time A BIT
ARROGANT. An added bonus that these two examples demonstrate is that
neither one is quite clear.
It's obvious that you're making fun of her, but it's not exactly clear
what you mean.
When you communicate like this, you communicate:
1. That you're confident
2. That you're comfortable
3. That you're intelligent
4. That you're funny
which, of course, are all qualities that lead to a woman feeling
attraction.
Of course, most men wouldn't even THINK about saying things like this to
a woman that they find attractive because they fear REJECTION.
Most men would also say that I must be CRAZY for thinking that these
kinds of comments would trigger an EMOTIONAL response of ATTRACTION
inside of a woman.
I can understand this, because when I first saw guys being Cocky and Funny
with women, I PERSONALLY couldn't believe that it was what was creating
the ATTRACTION.
But the fact is that IT DOES CREATE ATTRACTION.
And as illogical as it seems, if you learn how to cultivate the skill of
flirting, you'll notice an amazing difference in the way that women
respond to you.
You'll find that the more you refine and perfect the technique, the more
women will want to talk to you, be around you, and feel the
uncontrollable urges associated with ATTRACTION.
So here's the formula again: When you're in a situation with a woman,
say flirty things that are both cocky and funny.
Let's say you're talking to a woman, and she says "Here, let me buy this
round of drinks".
You might respond by saying "Look, don't think that just because you buy
me a drink that I'm going to go home with you. I'm not that easy...".
Or maybe she mentions that she just started working as a waitress... and
you say "Well, that's a deal breaker for me, because I need a woman who
makes enough to support the both of us so I can pursue my life-long goal
of being a house husband".
Are you with me?
These are all funny and at the same time flirty.
One of the exercises that I recommend is to take some time and come up
with a whole bunch of flirty comments that you can use in the most
common "real world" situations you find yourself meeting women in and
then mentally rehearse them so you have them ready in your mind to use.
When you use this magical way of communicating with women, you'll find
that it often sparks an instant sexual tension, and sets up a perfect
interaction between you and the woman you're talking to.
It creates a wonderful, entertaining challenge that women just love to
engage.
It not only sets you apart from other men, but as I mentioned, it also
triggers that wonderful emotion called attraction at the same time.
Double the success!
Of course, this is one part of a much bigger picture of how to use your
personality to create sexual tension and attraction from the very
beginning of your interactions with women.
So get out there and use it, because the magic formula of flirting humor
will create all kinds of good things for you. You'll see.
And if you're reading this right now and thinking to yourself "I really
need to learn how to master this flirting humor thing", then I agree!
In fact, learning how to flirt with humor is one of the fastest,
easiest, and most fun ways you can make women feel attraction for you.
If you'd like to get a "fast track" education on flirting humor, then I
HIGHLY recommend that you check out my online introduction to
advancement here:
www.doubleyourdating/cockyhumor